parzival221:

shak1ra:

redevoted:

bowserfucker:

oknope:

imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told 

IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”

what about a book of all the lies people have told you

Oh how the tables have tabled

Tables have tabled

(via beepbeepdaddad)

bingedrunk:

when you’ve been with the same guy for 4 years

image

(Source: partynoxious, via omgwtfisgoingonhere)

kanyewhisperer:

when you try to say ‘nah you’re good’ but say ‘nah you’re god’ by mistakeimage

(via omgwtfisgoingonhere)

sexadvicegoddess:

sarcasticlittlefuckk:

standard

I am crying I love this too much

(Source: brokenimagephotos, via majestic-eyebrows)

fernacular:

wittyandcharming:

THESE PARENT BIRDS ARE SO BEAUTIFUL LIKE BIRDY DRAG QUEENS WITH FLAWLESS EYELINER AND THE BABY LOOKS LIKE AN UNFINISHED MUPPET AND I’M DEAD.

fernacular:

wittyandcharming:

THESE PARENT BIRDS ARE SO BEAUTIFUL LIKE BIRDY DRAG QUEENS WITH FLAWLESS EYELINER AND THE BABY LOOKS LIKE AN UNFINISHED MUPPET AND I’M DEAD.

(via retro-beauty)

drunktrophywife:

tinychatter:

tinychatter:

what do you call a sunburnt penis

image

Kyle this is the worst

(via omgwtfisgoingonhere)

thenotinferior:

I AM SO SORRY. I accidentally deleted the post well here it is again.

(via omgwtfisgoingonhere)